What to Do When He Pulls Away and Breaking the Relationship Cycle of Push, Pull, Push and Fall

Why do men pull away in a relationship when things get even a little tough? Women tend to look at their man in confusion when he decides to close up and distance himself from the situations around him. What does it mean when he clams up, closes off, and backs away? Women always ask what to do when he pulls away because they are scared it is something they are doing. The chances are that it isn’t. The chances are that engaging with him directly will only accelerate the problem and cause the very thing the woman was scared of in the first place.

Why He Pulls Back

It is common knowledge that men tend to retreat into their own head when things get a little tough. It is a manifestation of their stress. It could have to do many different things, from a poor relationship to work stress. In response, he pulls back a bit emotionally and physically.

Why Fixing it Now is Not the Best Idea

A common response from a woman is to find out why the pulling back is happening right away. It seems like such a natural inclination. If a man is pulling away, there must be a reason and there must be a solution that can be helped and assisted in. This ends up developing a cycle where the man is pushing away not because of a bad relationship but because of stress. The woman leans in, asks how she can help and pushes for resolution. The man responds by pulling away further until someone eventually falls off the cliff.

Unfortunately, many women take this tactic personally when it is really often just the man trying to get a hold of his own emotional processing. There will be no argument here that this is the best way or even a decent way to go about dealing with stress. It is just the way many men who do not have a firm grip of their stress, approach handling it.

It makes a huge difference because the man isn’t pulling away because of any part on the woman (most of the time at least). He needs to work through it. A little space will give him the emotional circle-room to get it together.